The things that define me
by ThePryn
Summary: The story about how Mello left Matt and the struggle to keep sane when Matt gets left behind by the love of his life. This is my first fanfic, so sorry if it's crap.
1. Rosary

**Matt's POV.**

**Rated M for themes and language (although I think I went easy on the cursing).**

**Contains Yaoi/malexmale/boyxboy/gay sex! Don't like, don't read (duuuh?)...**

* * *

_**Wammy's house.**_

_December 2007._

It wasn't the first time I had walked into our room to meet a big bag in the middle of it, but it was the first time I'd actually seen Mello go around filling it with his, all through black, clothes. I stayed put as he ran around me, growling as I was in the way. Blinded by fury he eventually bumped into my shoulder, some hard enough to leave bruises. I figured it'd be better to move.

As I watched him from my bed, I wondered if he was serious this time, if I'd manage to talk him out of it. Needing something to keep me calm I took the packet of stolen cigarettes from my nightstand, lighting one of them and filling my lungs with smoke, holding it in for as long as I could. I stayed quiet, unable to do anything other than observe, hoping in silence Mello just had a bad day.

"God damn it!", he shouted when he returned from the bathroom with his belongings, "Open the window!"

Dropping his toiletries with a sigh in the bag, looking down at it, probably thinking if he had forgotten something. I stood up and cracked the window open, feeling the cold December wind hit my face. It was a raw afternoon, I took another drag from my cigarette, watching the sky.

"Looks like it'll snow tonight", I said and retreated to my bed.

"Open it all the way Matt", he demanded zipping the bag closed and getting his jacket that had been thrown on the bed, "I'll be passing though there in a moment."

"Why not use the door?", I asked, defying his request, leaning back against the wall.

"I'm leaving Matty", he replied simply while walking over to me, kneeling down and opening the drawer in my nightstand, picking up the only content of it. The rosary my mother had left me with before abandoning me on the church doorstep. "I'll be taking this with me", he noted and shoved it down his jacket pocket. I didn't mind, he was the religious one, not me. That it was the only thing I had left from my mother, I didn't give a rat's ass, seeing that she abandoned me and all.

Mello looked down on me, sighing.

"Well then, I'll be going", he said and reached for the window, opening it himself.

A hard knot in my stomach started swelling, I had to do something. The thought of Mello leaving, it was terrifying, life ending. I just knew I couldn't go on without him.

Suddenly my body moved on its own, and bless Zelda that it did. With one foot on the window lattice I had grabbed the strap of Mello's bag, holding him back from jumping. Mello turned around and glared angrily at me, but that wouldn't do, not today. I wouldn't let him leave.

"Mail…", he warned me, not moving from the window, "let go…"

My fist clenched around the strap, knuckles getting white.

"No", I said simply meeting his gaze, both pair of eyes equally filled with determination. For a while we stayed like that, staring into each other's eyes.

"Get off!", Mello yelled and heaved the strap over his shoulder for me to let go.

The knot in me finally burst, I pulled back harshly enough to make him step back from the window, falling on top of me on the floor. Hitting my chest furiously with his fists, I rolled around and held his arms firmly at his sides, pinning Mello to the floor, still screaming at me.

"Let me go, let me go, let me go, let me go!"

"I WON'T LET YOU GO, MELLO!", I finally shouted back, getting Mello dumbfounded.

His face was so close to mine, his breath hot and sweet from all the chocolate. His icy blue eyes, his pale skin, only slightly flushed from the commotion, and those rosy lips, somewhat parted.

I wanted him.

* * *

I was twelve, almost two years ago, when I discovered that I felt something other than friendship towards Mihael Keehl, the Russian mafia kid. After night mass he'd stolen some whine which we shared under silence, it was my anniversary. It was that day, twelve years ago, that father Kelly found me outside the church.

We sat on the floor passing the bottle between us. As always I held the rosary in my left hand, inspecting it closely, as if searching for some answers. It was the only time I ever thought about it, why my mother had abandoned me. I recon it was okay to get blue once a year, as long as I didn't turn into a self-injuring Zoloft-zombie.

I looked up, seeing Mello watching me with the bottle raised halfway to his lips. He didn't pity me, that was what I liked about him. I think he understood, somehow, it seemed like our horrors were comparable.

"You want this?", I asked holding it out at him.

Mello chuckled and drank from the bottle.

"I'm Russian orthodox not catholic, Matty", he said putting away the half empty bottle beside himself. Leaning forward, crawling towards me, I felt something growing in me. I should've been scared, but like always on that day of the year, I was completely apathetic. He took the beads out of my hand, for some reason I noticed his fingers moving across my palm as he did so, setting himself in front of me.

"Besides", he said, gently placing it around my neck, "I think you need it better than I do".

Mello smiled gently at me, stroking my cheek, as I felt the tears starting to burn. He held me as I sobbed against his shoulder, stroking my hair and softly hushed me as I screamed out all my pain and we fell asleep in each other's arms on the floor.

As the day broke, I woke up, ready to continue my life as usual. I opened my eyes and saw Mello, soundly sleeping close to me. His blonde hair scattered over the carpet, a couple of strands across his face. I lay there, watching him sleep, and couldn't stop noticing how beautiful he was. His long lashes, pale cheeks and those pink, soft looking lips. I wanted to touch him.

Not the kind of playful everyday touching, I wanted to caress him, feel him. To my surprise nothing held me back as I reached out and stroked his cheek tenderly. Mello whined in his sleep and shifted his face into my palm before sleepily opening his eyes. I didn't try to cover the embarrassing fact that I was caressing my sleeping best friend, just simply smiled and withdrew my hand from his face.

"Morning, Mells."

Mello looked at me for a while before getting up and going about his daily business. Everything went back to normal, only it didn't, not for me. Something had changed.

I'd counted on him reacting to the incident in some way, like avoiding me or snapping mean remarks at me, but he didn't. The days went on as usual, old habits on repeat. To my surprise, and pleasure, Mello even kept the habit of taking his sweet time getting dressed after his Saturday bath. Walking around in our room, dressed only in his slacks, while drying his hair and reading a book, made it hard for me not to go hide in the bathroom, embarrassed by the rock hard erection in my pants. The steam still lingering, filled with the smell of Mello.

I released myself while thinking of my best friend stretched out on his bed, with his chest bare and hair still moist.

* * *

I felt Mello's body tense up under me as I suddenly crashed my lips into his, kissing him lustfully. Even after letting go of his arms to drag my fingers though his soft hair, he didn't move. I opened my eyes to see his closed, feeling his lips starting to respond to mine, letting me into his mouth. His tongue tasted like chocolate.

Mello bit my bottom lip teasingly as I retracted to breathe. He opened his eyes slowly, ice blue, burning.

"Я лювлю теба Маил" (I love you Mail), he whispered, eyes half lidded, blushing deeply.

Feeling a shiver running down my back and the tension building up in my jeans, I closed my eyes and moaned.

"Oooh… You're so bloody hot when you speak Russian, Mells!"

As I opened my eyes again I saw Mello smirking, eyes filled with something savage. He slid his hands under my t-shirt up my back, dragging his nails against my skin, it felt brilliant. By now I didn't want him, I needed him, desperately.

With a few squirms Mello was out of his jacket and I locked his legs, pressed up against his chest, with my arms on either side of him, rubbing the bulge in my pants distinctly against his tight jean clad ass, watching, imagining how he'd feel around my cock. Mello gasped and I caught his lips with mine, intensely kissing him as I reached down between us, pleased to feel a hardening bulge on Mello as well.

With a hard push I hit my back against the wall, half laid on the floor.

"Easy going there, Mihael…", I grunted, grabbing my shoulder, sore from hitting the wall.

Mello crawled towards me with a feline smirk on his lips, almost making me cum in my pants. He leaned down to my crotch, slowly starting to unbutton my pants with slim fingers. I felt how my breath hitched when he bit by bit unzipped the zipper and dragged my boxers down, releasing my throbbing member from its constrictions. Dragging his fingertips against my shaft, smearing the dripping pre-cum and then seductively licking it off of his fingers, sending shivers up my back and twitches to my cock.

Mello chuckled lowly before engulfing my length all the way to the root, making me throw back my head and moan loudly.

"Aaaahn… Mell-hhn…"

Starting to bob his head up and down I felt me drawing nearer a release, feeling his wamr and moist cheeks and tongue around my cock, it was too much. It was too good.

Mello timed himself well, just before I was about to shoot a load down his throat he stopped, looking up, licking his lips. I breathed heavily, reaching out to touch his face. He leaned into my palm as I caressed him, brushing my thumb over his kiss-bruised lips. I let my hands follow his body down to the rim of his long-sleeved shirt dragging it up and over his head, displaying his slender upper body. His smooth skin and light pink nipples looked so innocent, I wanted to destroy that innocence pull him into my personal chaos.

The beast in me that'd just a couple of minutes ago been denied his orgasm sprung forward, pressing Mello back on the floor, ravaging his mouth. With his legs pressed back to his chest again, I could easily tug his boots off, and with only a couple of "click"s and "ziiip"s Mello laid beneath me, completely naked. I swiftly pulled my t-shirt off, connecting our skins, yet wanting to get even closer.

I paused, looking deep into Mello's eyes, seeing those flames, confirming that he was with me before reaching down, tugging down my pants and boxers, placing myself at his entrance. Mello winced at the feel of my head pressing against him, calming him down with another shower of kisses he relaxed enough for me to push all the way into him. Mello screamed a high pitched cry into my lips and I felt him clenching around me. Terrified with hurting him to the extent of tears rolling down his face I concentrated on keeping perfectly still, kissing him carefully. Lips, brow, face, neck, I wanted to taste every little bit of him.

Still breathing hard, having stopped his whines and replaced them with moans I felt him starting to rock his hips against my member, still clenched by his insides. Supporting myself against his legs, I leaned back, looking down on the mess I'd made out of this perfection of a man. Glistening with sweat, eyes gone dark with lust, a high flush on his cheeks, I'd remember this display forever.

Relieved to see pleasure and not pain in Mello's face as I pulled out I pushed back in extracting the sweetest moans possible.

"Naaahn… Matt… Hnnnh…"

With my own groans getting deeper, I reached down and grabbed his leaking member and pumped it with the rhythm of my thrusts, plunging deeper, harder and faster with every thrust. Clenching his eyes together, breathing faster, I knew he was close.

I leaned down, nipping at his earlobe, whispering sweetly.

"Mihael, love, cum with me…"

I pounded into Mello with all my might, feeling him tighten up around me while we both spilled our semen under unison cries for each other.

Slumping on top of Mello, still panting like a maniac, I slid out of him, hearing a small whine as I did so. I stood up and watched Mello, naked and sticky from his own orgasm, exhausted, nearly asleep. I smiled as I thought; _You ain't going anywhere soon, love_. I turned around and closed the window, seeing white flakes fall from a pitch black sky.

"Mells", I knelt and shook him lightly, "Mello, you wanna go to bed?"

Drowsily shaking his head Mello tugged at my arm to embrace him, so I did. I held him dearly, nuzzling my nose into his soft hair, inhaling his scent, as we laid on the floor again.

"Mello?", I whispered, Mello hummed lightly, letting me know he was still awake. "You know I don't understand a single word Russian, right?"

Mello turned and buried his face into my chest, mumbling something as he fell asleep.

"I love you Mells", I whispered while feeling sleep drawing nearer, "so don't you dare fucking leave me…"

When I woke up the day after, I was alone under a blanket that Mello had been kind enough to cover me with, before disappearing through the window, leaving it open.

* * *

**Hope it wasn't all crap.**

**In the next chapter I'll be taking the liberty of introducing a new character, X.**

**Look forward to it ^^''**


	2. Photograph

**Matt's POV.**

**Rated M for themes and language (although I think I went easy on the cursing).**

**Contains SI-triggers/self injuring triggers. If you can't handle it, don't read. **

* * *

**Wammy's house.**

_January 2008_.

The weeks after Mello's escape went on in a slur. I felt like the world was moving past me, unconcerned about the tragedy that had nearly shattered my whole existence. My days went on as if on autopilot, I'd taken Mello's place as second for replacing L, but it didn't matter. For me it never had. The only thing that actually mattered was Mello and the fact that he'd left me behind.

Drifting through the corridors, mindlessly, apathetic, no one tried to talk to me. That is until…

"Hey, you!", someone shouted, odd thing I noticed, it could've been directed towards anyone. I turned around to see a girl I'd never seen before coming towards me. "Yeah, I'm talking to you, ginger-freak…"

Being called ginger-freak, to be honest I didn't know if I should get upset and smack that little face or just turn around and leave. Deeply confused I found myself just standing there, watching the girl coming closer. She looked like she was my age, but I'd never seen her in class, I would've definitely remembered if I had. That long rugged pitch black hair, the heavy black eye makeup and those brown, almost reddish eyes, she looked like that girl from The Exorcist, only scarier.

Stopping in front of me I discovered that she was shorter up close, but nonetheless terrifying. Staring me in the eyes I felt a growing sensation of fear, completely paralyzed, a not so pleasant change from my three week long feeling of nothingness.

"Stop looking so fucking miserable", she finally spat at me, "it's an eyesore."

Taken aback from this sudden accusation of being an "eyesore", I found myself speechless by something else than lack of care of the subject.

With a snort and roll of demon eyes the girl left, bumping hard into my side on her way. Left with the wonder of what had just happened, I felt a familiar sensation. The girl reminded me of Mello. Thinking about it, if he saw me like this Mello would've said the same thing, using the exact words. If I didn't know better, I'd think she was the reincarnation of him, except Mello didn't have that odd smell around him, the dusty smell of iron.

Finally awakening from my paralysis I spun around, just to find the corridor empty, the girl gone.

* * *

Rodger hadn't tried to pair me up with another roommate since Mello left, so getting back to my room after classes I looked forward to just being alone, occupying myself with my videogames to suppress the intense pain. Before, the room had only been a place I spent my free time and slept in, now it had become a place where I never felt forced to smile or preform, a sanctuary. At the same time it was a constant reminder of the harsh reality of Mello's absence.

With a sigh I turned the doorknob, stricken with the same intense fear from earlier the same second I opened the door. Against a blood red sunset I saw the silhouette of a big black hair fuzz in the middle of the room between the two beds, seemingly looking out though the window. As the fuzz turned around, facing me with those red eyes, no longer as scary, she had the same facial expression as a child caught red handed with stealing cookies. She hadn't been looking through the window; in her hands I saw the corner of a photograph, His photograph.

The cold terror soon subsided, replaced with scorching rage. With only two steps I was at her, snatching the paper from her fingers.

"DON'T TOUCH THAT!", I screamed at her, "GET THE FUCK OUT!", pointing at the still open door.

At first her eyes widened in shock but soon they narrowed into her earlier stare.

"No…", she said, sitting herself on the bed, Mello's bed.

Shaking with anger I felt helpless, confused over the entire scenario. The girl's lips curled into a smirk, a soft snicker escaping them.

The room darkened before my eyes, I snapped. Grabbing her wrist I pulled her towards the door.

"What the fuck are you doing?", she shouted and tried to break away from my grasp, "Get your fucking hands off me!"

Hardening my hold around her I dragged through the door. As she took hold of the door case I shifted my grip to lift her around her waist and carry her down the hall and up the stairs to the third floor over my shoulder. She was light as a feather, but fought against my hold like a rabid dog. Under showers of curses, making doors open as we passed them and curious faces peeking out, I got to my destination; Rodgers office. Not bothering with knocking I barged in with the screaming girl on my shoulder, pounding her fists on my back.

"You fucking douchebag! LET GO OF ME!"

In the middle of a squirm I let her go, making her fall to the floor with a thud.

Rodger was sitting behind his desk, composed despite the dramatic scene.

"Why was she in my and Mello's room, Rodger?", I growled and walked up to the desk, pointing at the girl as she got up.

With his chin resting on his linked hands he looked up.

"Mello left, Matt", I felt a sting of pain as he voiced the fact, "it isn't his room anymore.", he said with a discarding shrug.

Desperation swelled in my chest, how could he be so calm?

"Yeah, and it seems like I'm the only one that cares about it!", I shouted, "Mello left, Rodger! He left because of you, that albino twat and this fucking place, how can you not care about it?"

"Leaving was his own choice, Matt", he said sternly, looking at me over the edge of his glasses, "and I have to respect his wishes. I thought that you, of all people, would understand this."

All my words slipped from me, I felt like a slapped Nancy.

"Now, this is X", Rodger motioned towards the girl, who had crossed her arms, looking bored, "Matt, she'll be your new roommate."

I looked back on Rodger, meeting a completely serious gaze.

"Are you pulling my leg, old geezer? 'Cause it ain't funny", I warned, hoping for the love of Sonic, Mario, Link and all the almighty beings that he was. The shriveled up old man didn't even finch.

"But Rodger…", I said, casting a glance over my shoulder at the girl, before leaning closer, lowering my voice to a whisper, "She's a chick, right? Why don't you pair her up with Linda or some other chick?"

A low snicker kept Rodger from answering me. I turned around to see the fuzzy hair-demon smirk again.

"For the same reason he won't pair you up with a boy, Matty…", she said, emphasizing the nickname only Mello had used before.

* * *

Turned out X was a lesbian, Rodger probably thought that pairing up a boy and a dyke wouldn't hurt, seeing he didn't seem to take X's comment seriously. The thought had never struck me before; was I gay because I loved Mello? Honestly I didn't even know myself; I'd never in my soon to be fourteen years been interested in girls, or other boys for that matter. Always and only Mello.

The reason for me not noticing X before was that her ranking put her in a lower grade, she wasn't in any of my classes. So it wasn't strange that she appeared as from nowhere, our classrooms weren't even located on the same floor.

And so my life turned into hell from that day on, sharing a room with X was like a nightmare. I couldn't relax with her around, staring at me with those damned eyes. I didn't like her taking the liberty of reading the books Mello had left behind, but I didn't want to make a fuss or take the risk of getting brutally murdered in my sleep. Same went for her tendency of playing her electric guitar with a mind numbing volume. Not to mention the smacking sounds she made while eating her jelly beans, or the fact that she constantly chugged the lemon flavored ones at me, making me lose concentration to my video games.

She was odd, just odd, in so many ways. Like, she always wore the same old zipper hoodie, I figured that it was the source of that iron smell, which had even started to replace Mello's chocolate aroma. It made me feel like everyone was in a hurry to forget all about Mello, dragging me along as if it was for my own good.

January turned into February, and that god forsaken day came, the first anniversary I'd be spending all alone. I had snuck up to Rodgers office and stolen a bottle of whisky, surprised that the old fart kept alcohol unlocked in an orphanage. I sat in my room, for once alone, X being out, probably making trouble. I took big gulps of the burning liquid, looking at the picture of Mello this time, seeing he'd taken my mother's rosary with him.

Soon I felt those tears burning, as expected; this was the only day I allowed myself to cry. But that was a fucking lie; I had cried myself to sleep every fucking night since the bastard had left. Even after X moving in, I just saw to it that she didn't hear. I didn't want the freak's sympathy.

"Why the tears, Matty?"

For the love of Nintendo, I wish she could stop sneaking up on me like that. In any case, how could she move so quietly?

"Suck my Tetris, X-avier", I spat and took another mouthful of whisky, keeping my eyes on Mello's smirking face.

"Xavier? Like the bald guy in a wheelchair?", she asked. I didn't answer. "Well, you can choke on my G-string, E-Mail-spam."

Surprised that she knew my real name I looked up, meeting her ever staring red eyes. She was wearing that smelly old sweatshirt and cut up baggy jeans, sitting on Mello's bed. No, it wasn't Mello's bed anymore, it was hers. I had to face that fact sometime.

"You gonna share that?", she asked nodding toward the bottle in my hand picking up an yellow-ish colored jelly bean and inspecting it. When I ignored her and returned to the photograph in my hand she threw it and hit the top of my head. "Be that way then", she hissed moving off the bed, "but you know, he's better off now, wherever he might be. You're just being selfish."

That was fucking it. I flew to my feet, leaving the bottle and picture on the floor, and pushed X so hard she hit the wall behind her bed.

"You don't even know who the fuck you're talking about!", I shouted, X didn't even make a single move, just looked up on me from under her thick black bang.

"Mihael Keehl, a.k.a. Mello, the boy on the picture you guard with your good for nothing life…" she snarled, sitting herself up on the bed again.

"Yeah, that's right, you freak", I shouted back, "he ranked second to success L, and worked his ass off to get there, just to be overlooked, thanks to Near! You, ranking second to last, have no right to talk about him as if you knew him!"

Panting and with the tears still rolling down my face I watched X get up and walk over to the bathroom door.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about, you moron", she hissed, "That is what this place do to us. The pressure to preform, in the end it'll fuck us all up. Believe me, I know…"

With that she disappeared behind the door.

* * *

**Wammy's house.**

_April 2008_.

Tapping away on my laptop I tried not to notice X being unusually quiet. After our brawl several months ago we hadn't talked much, besides the daily name-calling. It had become a kind of game, the one coming up with the wittiest nickname as the winner, although none of us ever acknowledged defeat.

Today, however, I hadn't received any snarky comment about my hair, addiction to videogames or love for Mello. It made me nervous hearing X plucking away on her guitar, playing a sad tune, behind my back. I lit another cigarette to calm my nerves down. I had to concentrate on the task at hand.

I had picked up my studies, for several reasons. First and foremost; I didn't want to flunk any courses resulting in me being held back and placed in one of X's classes. Number two, I wanted to keep my ranking, or rather Mello's ranking. And third, the video games didn't distract me enough anymore.

All this would work perfectly well as a fucking bonfire under my ass, if it wasn't for biology being my worst subject, and still, I couldn't stop worrying about the pressing silence in the room. You could almost hear the fog drift lazily by outside the window.

With a sigh I shoved a sock in the mouth of my damn pride, spun around on my chair to face X and…

"Hey, X… you're good with biology, right?"

She let the final tone ring out for a minute before she put away her guitar and dragged herself over to my desk, eyes staring emptily on the floor. She leaned over my shoulder to look at the short notes I'd written down so far. The smell was worse up close, it really was nauseating.

"You've got it all wrong…", she sighed and stretched out to erase and rewrite everything I'd accomplished after three hours of decrypting gibberish from my textbook.

Three minutes into typing something about biomedicine, biomechanics, or whatever, I gave up my attempts to get around X's big, unusually chaotic, head of hair and decided to try lean under it, just so that I could see the screen. With my nose literally on the table I heard something dripping behind the frenzied tapping of X's fingers.

"Done…", X said and returned to her bed.

Finally getting to see the screen I saw that X didn't just correct my mediocre attempts of answers, she completed the entire assignment, in less than four minutes. I slumped down on top of my desk as I had to admit that the freak was amazing, and hating it. I noticed a dark speck of something on my desk that wasn't there last time I looked there.

"Say, X, did you just… drip on my desk?", I asked and looked at the girl over my shoulder, noting the weirdness of my question.

With a hazed look on her face she simply uttered an airy "oh… must've opened up again…" and went to the bathroom without actually answering me. I looked down on the small puddle and wiped it up with my index finger, feeling a cold shiver as I realized; it was blood.

Something suddenly grabbed me, forcing me to my feet and to the bathroom door, which I flung wide open. X stood by the sink, her hoodie by her feet, only wearing her bra and pants. The sight was pure terror. Her arms were covered in pink, bulging scars, mixed up with open, still bleeding wounds and dried up scabs. Her stomach was wrapped up in bandages; I could only guess that the scars continued beneath them.

"Never heard of knocking?", X looked at me through the mirror, her voice completely hollow. She was unwrapping her forearms of bandages, sickly stained with something maroon.

So the iron smell was blood, huh?

I went over to X, steered her to sit on the toilet, feeling a fait shiver from touching her scarred, paper-thin skin. I took some clean white bandages from the bathroom cabinet, knelt down in front of her and started winding them hard around her bleeding forearms. I had to stop the bleeding; X was already getting unusually pale.

"That's too tight…", she whispered lightly.

I smacked her across the face with the back of my hand, making her head throw to the side. Her eyes were closed as the silent tears started falling.

"This is the first and last time I'll do this", I said sternly, "I don't wanna be left behind by you as well, you stupid chick."

X let her lips tug into a faint smile as she turned to me.

"You should really seek help for that", she said wiping away her tears with the back of her hand, smearing her makeup just a little.

"What's that?", I asked and continued wrapping her arms, maybe a little lighter.

"Your pathetic separation anxiety of course."

The words hit me hard, but it wasn't like I hadn't thought about it. That was why I felt so miserable before X crashed into my existence, that was why I preferred her to be loud and visible, I just wanted to confirm her presence and by definition me not being alone.

"Shut up", I muttered, "stupid Emo-freak…"

Silence made the air grow thick while I continued turning X into a mummy, taking the liberty to change the bandages covering her stomach as well.

The thing was; I had done my research, I knew who X was and had known since that brawl we had.  
Alega Bonfire, a.k.a. X, age 13, born the 30:th April 1993. Family unknown, except for her brother who'd also been enrolled at Wammy's house, now deceased. That brother had been one of the first ones taken in by Quillish Wammy and Rodger Ruvie, ranking second to succeed L. Codename: B.

In short, the ghost of a girl sitting in front of me was the sister of the notorious murderer Beyond Birthday.

"She hates me you know…", X, Alega, said breaking the silence just as I finished bandaging her up.

I looked up at her, she seemed to have calmed down a bit.

"Who?", I simply asked.

With a faint laugh she tipped her head back, looking up at the ceiling.

"Linda, who else?", she answered, "I shared a room with her before, she was the only one who wasn't scared of me, who didn't care about my brother, saw no connection between us. Then I went and fucked it all up with kissing her. I scared her away and now she looks at me as I'll pounce her any moment. She looks like she fears for her life each time I meet her eyes"

X brought her hands up to cover her face, you could literally see her heart breaking in this moment as she confessed her feelings. Or maybe it was just the shell cracking; maybe it was her heart breaking free as to breaking down.

I got up and walked out of the bathroom, grabbing one of my striped shirts and returned to the doorway, throwing it over X. It landed on her head.

"Fuck Linda", I said, leaning against the door case, "or better, don't fuck her, it's probably not worth it anyway."

X looked at me with a confused face from under the thrown shirt.

"Come on, I bet I can bust your ass on Guitar Hero, Alega", I winked at her, drawing out a smirk from her as she stood up and pulled the shirt over her head.

* * *

**Wammy's house**

_June 2008._

I knew I shouldn't have agreed to play video games with Alega, I really had to do my homework, but since the moment we had in the bathroom she'd turned into something more energetic, almost like a child. Each time I'd decided to concentrate on my schoolwork and neglect her need for attention and company in playing Guitar Hero she'd start jumping on her bed, playing Another brick in the wall on that loud guitar of hers. I just couldn't focus with Alega screaming "We don't need no education" like there was no tomorrow.

So there I was, another hot sunny afternoon, wasting my time as exams got closer by the day. But I have to admit, it was a lot more fun than biology.

"You know you look stupid in those", I said with my eyes glued to the TV, referring to a pair of goggles with orange lenses.

Alega had stopped wearing that awful sweatshirt, nowadays she took great interest in raiding my closet, "hey, Matty, I'm just borrowing this", and completing her look with outrageous accessories. That day she was wearing my long sleeved black and white striped shirt, a fluffy tutu-skirt, black and white striped stockings and a pair of goggles as a headband, holding her enormous black hair back.

"Shut up, you're just jealous", she said and prodded me in the side with the head of her plastic guitar.

After a few minutes of silence she spoke again.

"I'm thinking about starting in your class next semester", she said, clicking away on the remote.

In just a month Alega had gained higher scores on her tests, now she was at the head of her class, just one rank away from the elite. What people didn't know was that it had cost her not just one night of shaking in a corner and mumbling various equations and formulas and chanting the answers to them until she crashed into a hysteric "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know". It took me hours to calm her down.

One good thing came out of it though, she didn't scare me anymore. It made me realize how fragile she really was.

"Then you'll have to up your studying and get a higher rank", I answered plainly, "and you do know that Linda is in my class, right?"

"Yeah, I know, but it doesn't bother me anymore", she answered with a shrug.

It was true that Alega had started coming to my class during recess, I was surprised at first, but it didn't take long before I'd grown accustom to having her around.

"And you know I could've kicked your ass down a notch a long time ago", she smirked, "just like I'm doing right now. Oh, oh, who just got 100%? Yeah that's right, yours truly! Suck on that butt-lover!"

Alega threw her hands up in a victory motion, shouting "who's the guitar hero now, huh?". When she was like this, happily bouncing on the bed and laughing loudly, well… she was kinda cute. So, when she got up and started jumping up and down on the bed and I tripped her, resulting in her falling across my lap and into my arms, her red eyes gazing up on me like a scared kitten, I couldn't help myself. I kissed her. It wasn't a big deal, just one little kiss.

When I broke it and opened my eyes I saw her shocked expression turning into a smile, then a laugh.

"Now Matty, did you think I'd turn straight for you?", she asked and crawled backwards away from me, rubbing her butt against my crotch as she did so, although she just sat herself beside me.

"Of course not", I said, leaning in, "just see it as an experimental fling."

I winked at her before capturing her lips again, moving my hands to cup her soft breasts. This time Alega kissed me back, dragging her tongue over my bottom lip, begging me to let her in. I plunged my tongue into her mouth, slid it across hers while sliding my hands down her sides and further down her legs. Putting her hands around my face Alega deepened the kiss, I fought to hold back a slight moan.

I was just about to tug my shirt off her when a knock sounded through the room. Growling a low curse I got up, grabbing my cigarettes and lighting one on the way to the door, frustrated with the interruption.

"What if it's Rodger?", Alega noted and motioned towards my cig. She had a point. "Give it to me", she demanded, snapping her fingers as I dragged a couple of puffs before giving it to her.

She pulled down the long sleeve to cover it up as I went to open the door. Behind it was a short, white haired boy, holding a toy-robot. Near.

"What the fuck do you want, albino-freak?", Alega spat before I had the chance to.

I didn't want to see him; it was enough to see him every day in class. Every time I saw him I was reminded about Mello. I didn't need that…

I turned around without a word, taking back my cigarette from Alega and took a deep drag from it and tapped the ashes out the wide open window.

"It's good to see you X. Matt, can I come in?", Near asked in his awfully polite, and nauseating, way.

I shrugged with my back turned in response, hoping he'd just fuck off. I heard the door closing, saw Alega creep across the bed and snatched her bag of jelly beans before settling herself against the headboard, her knees pulled up to her chin. Did Near leave?

"I'll just get to the point then", I heard that I wasn't that lucky.

I remained at the window, puffing frustratingly at my cigarette, replacing it when the embers came too close to my fingers. There was a silence as I presume Near wanted me to turn around before stating his business. Suddenly I heard a low tapping noise, glancing to the side I saw Alega flicking away the yellow jelly beans, probably aiming to hit Near. Feeling like I wasn't alone, like I had an ally, I turned around.

"Get a move on then, we were kinda in the middle of something before you ruined it just now", I said, literally hearing Alega smirk behind me as she continued her lemon flavored jelly bean attack.

Near's face gave in for a small twitch as Alega hit his temple, whispering a victorious "yes!" behind me. The boy cleared his throat.

"As you might know, I'm L's successor…", he began.

"Aren't we all?", Alega interjected, while barely missing Near with her next shot.

I snickered.

"In any case", he continued, "this means that I'm now leading the Kira investigation…"

"Stop bragging and get to the point!", Alega demanded, now digging around in the bag for another uneatable bean. I smirked as I flicked out the cigarette butt out the window

"Matt", he said sternly, "Kira only needs a face and a name to kill."

I had looked through the case file myself, in my head I knew what he was going to say next.

"I need Mello's photograph."

Alega froze up on the bed.

"Wh…w-what?", I stammered, "n-no… no, Near, no…"

Near stared blankly at me, taking a couple of steps forward, making me back up against my nightstand, taking a hold of the drawer handle.

"Matt, listen…", Near tried to persuade me.

Alega sprung to her feet held out her arm at Near, stopping him to get any closer to me or the nightstand.

"Hold up you bleached-freak", she growled, "he said no."

"Matt", Near said, ignoring Alega, "will you be able to stand it if anything were to happen to Mello because of you?"

My heart clenched as the thought crossed my head.

"Hey, that's not fair!", Alega objected loudly.

"No", I whispered, "Alega, he's right."

Alega turned towards me with wide eyes as I pulled out the drawer and took out the picture. It had been a while since I last looked at it. Mello's face hadn't changed; it still smirked at me as I held the paper tenderly in my hands. It had been half a year since he left and I hated to admit that Alega had managed to replace him, and that I didn't mind anymore. I felt like a hypocrite, I had no right keeping it. But how could I call myself his best friend and give up the last memorabilia of him so easily?

Then again, how could I not give it up if keeping it meant I'd be putting him in danger?

"Matt…", Near urged.

I looked up at Alega, silently shaking her head at me, as I handed the photograph to the boy behind her. Alega's face turned into a scowl as she turned and pushed Near towards the door.

"Get the fuck out!", she yelled and slammed the door in Nears face.

I felt the sunlight and heat leaving me slowly, everything felt gray and lifeless, but it was okay, as long as Mello was fine. Anyway, it was only a photograph.

* * *

**There you go, second chapter... Hope you liked it ^^''**


	3. Goggles

**Matt's POV.**

**Rated M for themes and language (although I think I went easy on the cursing).**

* * *

**_Wammy's house._**

_June 2008._

My mind went blank. In just a couple of seconds I was back, to that morning when Mello had just left me. The heat still pressed though the window and against my back, but all I could feel was the December wind. The sun still shone, wouldn't set for hours, but I could only see darkness. Birds chirped happily, but I could only hear the hoarse caw of ravens, and…

"**All alone**…"

I desperately searched around me, but the room remained just as cold, dark and empty.

"Mello…?", I whispered, but there was no one to answer me.

"**You're all alone.**"

The voice was familiar, it was the same that had haunted me ever since I could remember.

A slap sounded, and in that instant I was back to that warm summer's afternoon, the cold still lingering as ripples across my skin. A burning sensation started to grow in my cheek. Alega's face looked down on mine; her eyes had a worried stare.

"Matty, stay with me", she said and shook me lightly, "Mail, you hear me?"

I blinked a couple of times and opened my mouth to answer her, but no words would escape me. She smiled faintly.

"I'll go get you something…", she said and stood up.

"**You're all alone.**"

I reached to hold her back, keep her at my side, but my body moved too slowly. Alega disappeared into the bathroom, a loudly ruckus and a few curses sounded as she searched for something. I forced my body to move, get up and go after her; I didn't want to be alone.

When she emerged through the bathroom door I grabbed her, pushing her up against the wall, crashing my lips into hers. Alega gave out a surprised yelp into my mouth, reduced to a mumbling, as I plunged my tongue into her mouth.

"**You're all alone.**"

Alega pushed hard at my chest to break the kiss. I let her lips go and trailed kisses down her jaw and neck.

"Matt, you need to take these…", Alega lifted her right hand, holding a pill container.

"No", I slapped the jar out of her hand and grabbed hold of her legs, lifting her up from the floor.

At her protests I just covered her lips with mine, continuing to ravage her mouth with my tongue.

"**You're all alone.**"

I threw my fist against the wall, a loud crack sounded and I leaned back, hissing at the pain shooting up though my hand. Alega slipped out of my grasp, but stayed where she was, pinned between myself and the wall.

"Mail", Alega whispered, "you are not alone."

I looked up at her, her red eyes staring right into mine, her cheeks powdered slightly pink and her lips kiss-bruised, with a small cut bleeding where my teeth had clashed. She reached up and kissed me on the cheek before taking a hold of the hand I had used against the wall and voice in my head. She led me to her bed, pressing down at my shoulder to sit down.

"Now, stay put this time", she said and returned to the bathroom.

She soon returned with some bandages and a soaked towel. The cloth felt cool against my knuckles as she gently dabbed it over my hand.

"Wiggle your fingers for me", she demanded.

I did as I was told, all five digits moving as commanded.

"Doesn't seem as you've broken anything", she sighed relived, "but you'll probably be in a lot of pain for a couple of days, and your hand will look like a baboon's rear ass. Suits you right, stupid boy…"

I watched as she wrapped my hand into a neat package. Alega sighed once more when she was done, looking up on me with a stern look.

"You need to go find him, Matty."

Alega helped me pack my bag, making sure I didn't want the pills she'd offered me earlier. I knew what they were, and I didn't want them. The voice would still haunt me, but with any luck, it'd go back to just once a year. That I could handle.

"This is it then?", I asked and heaved my backpack up on one shoulder, "will you be okay without me, Alega?"

Alega smirked at me.

"You're the one with separation anxiety, remember?", she prodded my stomach with one slender finger.

I grabbed her hand and dragged her into my arms. I'd miss the freak. Alega sniveled and pushed away, taking off her goggles, pulled them over my head and around my neck.

"Now get the hell out of my room, ginger-freak", she wiped away a couple of tears and smiled at me.

I turned around and looked out the window. The sun had set a couple of hours ago; the moon spread a pale light over the fields bellow. I'd been outside at night before, but somehow it all seemed so unfamiliar, like I saw it though new eyes. Right then I wondered if Mello had felt the same way when he was just seconds from jumping out the window. With a deep breath I took hold of the window lattice and made my way after Mello, six months behind of schedule.

* * *

**_Mullaghley, Ireland._**

_June 2008._

I had the weather-man on my side the week it took me to get myself back to father Kelly's farm. The inevitable pressing rain shower held back until the same day I reached Mullaghley, however making me appear on the Kelly doorstep completely soaked.

I knocked and heard the dogs bark loudly inside and a man telling them to simmer down before they had the Lords fury over them.

"It was about time, lad", the old man simply said when he opened the door, inviting me in without question.

Father Kelly was a man around his late forty's, the age where some gray streaks had started to appear in his brown-red hair, but his blue eyes still sparkled like a child's. He'd know my mother from his parish, so when he found me on top of the church stair that morning in February, contently sucking at one of the prayer beads, he figured he'd keep me safe until my mother came to get me back. When she never did and I'd proven myself to not be completely useless, on the contrary; I was something 'special', he sent me off to Wammy's house to "cherish that glorious gift of God". But truth was that Father Kelly had grown fond of me, I think he just blamed God to make it easier to let me go. And about that glorious-whatever-of-God, he couldn't even grasp half of it.

"Get a move on", he said and walked down the small hallway to the living room, "you better get inside before you catch a cold."

Everything was just as I remembered it, maybe a bit smaller, seeing everything seems a lot bigger when you're five years old. Father Kelly put me in the armchair in front of the fireplace, he might be the only human I know of that has a fire going even during hot summer nights.

A towel was popped onto my head and then harshly rubbed against my red locks. As the towel slid down to lay around my shoulders he scuffled my hair, partly to see if it had dried and partly because of old habits.

"Now, let me look at you, boy", he said and reset his glasses on his nose, "aigh, you grown into a sturdy man, I see."

I smiled at the old man.

"I see you haven't shriveled up yet, old man", I said and ruffled his hair in return.

Father Kelly was taken aback by my voice, I guess it dropped drastically since last time he saw me.

"Ah, my boy!", he exclaimed and took me in to his arms, rocking to and fro, while chanting, "My boy, my boy, my boy." When he stopped he looked at me with a big smile and said; "welcome home, Mail."

You could say father Kelly greeted me with open arms. He had gotten a phone call from Rodger, the morning after I left, seeing he was my only relative. Father Kelly had expected me to come home, I really didn't have anywhere else to turn, and had set up my old room and all. Though I felt kind of awkward, technically taking advantage of the poor man. I didn't come back to take the place of father Kelly's son that he never had, I just needed a somewhere to set up base for my search for Mello.

So, a week into my stay at the Kelly farm I caught my new landlord as he set out for morning mass. I told him how I felt, avoiding the thing about "I'm on a worldwide search for my best friend and lover, and f.y.i. he's a boy, ergo I'm gay", only explained that I didn't want to impose on him. After all, he had no obligation of taking care of me. Father Kelly had a sad expression as he told me he'd think about it, turned around and walked out into the mellow morning sun.

At his return around noon he told me to gather my things and meet him in the barn on the front yard. It was a huge wooden building that had been used for storing barley when the farm was still up and running, which had been long before I even was born. Now it was just an empty building.

"Aight, lad, I know you're right, although I wish you to see me more as a father than a benefactor", Father Kelly said as I put my backpack on the ground and joined him inside the barn.

In the middle of it stood a rusty old car, probably not going anywhere soon, except maybe the dump.

"Let's make a deal, Mail", father Kelly said and went over to the car to tap the rusted hood, "I'll let you stay in here, I'll even help you turn the loft into a proper living space. That is if you manage to restore this beauty into its former glory."

He had to be kidding me. I knew my way around a car, but the heap had past the point of saving a long time ago. The man looked amused with my expression as I took it all in.

I realized that I didn't have a choice but to take the deal, and to be honest, deep down I couldn't turn down a challenge.

* * *

**_Mullaghley, Ireland._**

_September 2008._

With the computer that the old fart had used, in lack of understanding simple technology, as a footrest I set up my HQ in the loft of the barn and the first floor became my garage.

It turned out that the car was a Chevrolet Chevelle, the same car I dreamt about when I was younger. Yeah, even a computer geek like me have that fascination about cars, at least while still being an ignorant child. However, it seemed like there was nothing wrong with the engine, just a couple of modifications and she was good to go. I still had to give her an entire make over though, all that rust would hurt the machinery if I didn't do anything about it.

Somehow, and I imagine father Kelly had something to do with this, the villagers of Mullaghley caught news about "the Kelly wonder boy", and soon the barn had regular visitors that wanted me to check their cars. I didn't mind, I got paid, which meant I could afford to buy new parts to the Chevy. By august I only had the paint job left to complete my task.

I wore Alega's goggles on a daily basis; they came in handy in avoiding the harsh sunlight and covering up the black bags under my eyes, seeing I spent most part of the day under cars and my nights at the simple computer. I was, slowly but surely, hacking my way through the world to catch up on some trail that Mello obviously didn't leave. Although I sometimes spent an entire night at the comp, getting nothing out of it, I didn't give up. I was determined to find him, sooner or later.

I decided to paint the car red and midway through September I presented the Pearl to father Kelly. To my pleasure he was completely dumbstruck at the sight of it.

"By the great and divine, boy!", he exclaimed and stroked the newly waxed hood, "I thought it would take you much longer, years even!"

I smirked from the doorway where I stood leaned, goggles around my neck, while cleaning my hands on a rag.

"To be more precise, I'd thought it'd make a good present for your eighteenth birthday…", he said and put his hands in his sides, looking prudent before he looked up and winked at me.

"W-what's that?", I gasped, eyes widened, "what did you…"

"Well, it's yours, sad that you can't drive it for another four years though", he said and made his way back to the main building, patting my shoulder on his way.

I silently went over and climbed the ladder that reached up to the loft, sat myself in the desk chair, staring out in front of me, before spinning around to look down on the beauty and outcome of my hard work. My lips tugged into a smile.

* * *

**_Mullaghley, Ireland_**

_May 2010_

The years went by, still no sign of Mello. By now I had more information about anything than the CIA, except perhaps about the whereabouts of Mihael Keehl.

My days went by lazily, I was either fixing cars, occupied with my fruitless search for Mello or playing my PSP and smoking in the backseat of the Chevelle, seeing I wasn't allowed to drive it for another year.

However, that didn't stop me from sneaking it out in the middle of the night every now and then to get myself to town. Living with a catholic was kind of a problem when you're seventeen, horny and bisexual. I'd come to that conclusion by then, I wasn't entirely gay, girls worked fine for me, but sometimes they just… didn't.

That was why I had to make my secret midnight trips to the nearest city. I could manage with the village girls, but the truth was that Mullaghley was too small of a village-in-the-middle-of-nowhere for my homoerotic needs. I doubted that there were even any bi-curious boys there at all, and the risk of being exposed wasn't worth taking.

I was caught one time, sneaking back with the Chevelle at dawn, by father Kelly and got the scolding of my life. After being informed about the risks with driving without a license, the police and whatever, he continued with;

"For the love of god, boy! What drove you to this madness?"

I just shrugged and said;

"I had an itch."

"Oh, no boy", he replied at my explanation, fully understanding what kind of an 'itch' I was having, "that's no itch you got there, it's a full on rash! Haven't you enough girls running around here as it is?"

What could I say? I had a healthy sex drive. After that there weren't any more trips to town, Father Kelly took the liberty of chaining my beloved car to the ground and keeping its keys, which resulted in me putting masturbation on the list of my favorite pastimes.

It was in the mellow first days of May that I was interrupted in studying the recent news about Kira in Japan, a lit cigarette hanging between my lips, by father Kelly's voice from bellow.

"Oy, Mail!", he shouted, "phone for you!"

"If it's the pentagon, tell 'em it's not me fucking with their systems!", I shouted back, "and that I'm still not interested in working for 'em!"

Father Kelly went silent for a second, probably going over what I'd just said in his head.

"It's a girl!", he finally shouted back, "sounded like a sweet heart!"

I sighed and stubbed out my cigarette before descending the ladder, it was probably one of the girls I'd promised to call sometime, which I hadn't. Father Kelly reached out the portable phone as I came towards him, trying to think up some kind of excuse for not getting back to the probably heartbroken girl.

"Yeah?", I sighed into the phone, father Kelly watching me with great interest.

"Hey, Matty", a familiar voice said on the other end, "did you know that Near's real name is Nate? Isn't that lame?"

"Alega?", I pressed out, eyes nearly plopping out behind the goggles, "I can't believe it!"

Father Kelly snickered and walked away with a "don't go breaking the poor lass's heart".

"Yeah, I imagined him more as a Florence, that sounds more suitable for the sheep, right?", she continued, a low rustling sounding in the background. "Anyway, how are things with my favorite Zelda-jerker?"

"Just dandy", I answered, still not quite grasping the situation as I went over to sit on the hood of the Chevelle, "how'd you get this number?"

"I have my ways…", she replied with a low snicker, "anyway, I don't have much time to waste, Rodger will be back in any moment, so listen carefully. I know where Mello is."

I stiffened, feeling my heart skip a beat.

"Near left Wammy's house a month after you", she continued when I took too long in replying, "Long story short, I hacked his computer. There wasn't much interesting movement until yesterday when someone, a sexy sounding woman, made a call to a satellite phone in Los Angeles, USA."

I didn't know what to do, what to say. I just sat there, dumbfounded.

"Matt, it was Mello", she said, her voice sounded so clear, it was as if she was right there, beside me.

"Are you sure?", I asked, heart now racing in my chest.

"Does it matter?", she asked.

I snorted casually, despite the adrenaline pumping though my veins.

"Here, I'll give you the coordinates, you'll have to check it out for yourself", she said on which there was more rustling noises.

"Hang on", I said and put the phone into one of my pockets as I sprinted to the ladder, climbing it and sitting myself in front of the many screens that had gathered up to become my working space. I retrieved the phone, "are you still there?"

"Rodger's desk is so clean…", she mumbled fascinated, "I think I just got a great idea, I'll be needing Linda for this…"

"Oy, spawn of Medusa", I exclaimed, "mind giving me the coordinates before getting into trouble?"

"Oh, right. Thirty-four, point, o-fifty-three, six-hundred and twenty-two, dash, one-eighteen, point, twenty-four, thirty, twenty", she said airily, surely continuing making up schemes as her mission was now completed.

I tapped down the numbers in the program I had made myself that allowed me to instantly hack any kind of equipment in the area typed into it. Sometimes I had to admit I was a genius. I leaned back as the program processed the data, listening to Alega's humming on the other end.

"So", I said, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, "how are things with Linda?"

Alega chuckled on the other side.

"She's still a bitch", she said, I could hear her smile through the phone.

Suddenly I was quite aware of how long it had been since I got laid.

"But, you know, at least she's talking to me now", she chuckled, "and I think she loves me, otherwise she's a total whore for letting me munch her muffin as I please."

I smiled. She sure hadn't changed during these two years, and I felt happy that she hadn't crashed down into something horrible without me being there.

"Oh, I gotta go now, Matty", she whispered, in the background I could hear steps getting closer, "stay sane!"

With that the line when dead, just as the screens started buzzing in static. I slowly laid the phone on the desk, lifting my head back up, all four screens were covered in white noise. I hit the space-button to switch between video feeds; no dice.

After three hours I had come to the conclusion that there had been about fourteen video feeds, all of them disarmed in some way or another, and that I most likely had found Mello. No one else would be so meticulous in making a place so invisible, problem was that because of this I couldn't really confirm that this was it.

Cursing loudly I watched the last gleams of sunlight, that had shone in through the open doors bellow, fade away. Suddenly I heard an increasing growling, I looked back at the screens to see a fuzzy picture of an outside area. It was dark; just a few street lights cast their light on the pavement. Soon the growling came into picture; it was a motorcycle. On it sat a slender figure, dressed in all black, head covered with a black helmet.

I switched the screens so that the picture got clearer and leaned closer as the figure killed the engine and got off the vehicle. To my advantage the camera seemed to have a zooming function. As the figure took off the helmet I pressed the buttons to zero in on it. My breath was virtually gone as the head of the person shifted enough for me to get a good look of its face, blonde hair surrounding it.

"Mello?", I whispered to myself.

As the blonde fully turned around it slowly reached inside its clothes and pulled out a long object, a gun, aiming it straight into the camera. With cocking its head to the right the figure retracted the weapon, just as slowly as it was pulled out, and leaned back into the street light, revealing its face, before walking away. For a second I swore I had seen a smirk on that face, but I was sure, I could recognize those blue eyes anywhere.

"I finally found you, Mihael…"

* * *

**_Los Angeles, USA._**

_June 2010._

I could still remember that feeling I got as I drove around in the sundrenched streets of Los Angeles for the first time. It was the first time in years I felt so at ease, like if something told me that everything would turn out alright. However, while being dragged by my legs, with my head in a bag, across what smelled like a dusty basement floor, I couldn't believe I'd been so easily tricked by, what turned out to be, naïve and wishful thinking.

I blamed it on the vitamin boost I got from all that sunlight. Usually I preferred staying inside, but the last days in Mullaghlay had forced me to stay inside for two reasons. It rained cats and dogs constantly for a week, and it turned out that these Americans actually had a valid security system to their embassies. Not that it could stop me; it just took me a little longer to hack than I had hoped for.

When I'd completely innocently fetched my papers at the post office down town, I was faced with another hitch, father Kelly. I loathed myself for bringing the man to tears, at least close to them, when I told him I'd be leaving that very night. He disguised a sniffling with a loud grunt and stood up from the same chair he'd placed me in when I arrived there two years ago.

"You'll be back, the Lord will see to that", he said.

I reached out my hand, seemingly to shake his, which he gently slapped away and took me into his arms in a suffocating and bone breaking hug.

"Father Kelly", I coughed, "I was hoping you would give me the keys to the pearl."

Father Kelly let me go and looked at me sternly.

"Not before you get yourself a driver's license, sonny", he said and crossed his arms over his chest.

I smiled guiltily at the old man.

"About that… Do you remember that God-given gift of mine?", I said and held up a piece of paper, a legitimate American driver's license certificate.

The journey took long enough, seeing I had to risk experiencing the next Titanic-tragedy and take the ferry instead of a fast moving airplane that would land me, safe and sound, in Los Angeles in less than a day, just so that I could cruise the Chevy down the streets of its home ground.

I guess I was a fool for not seeing it coming, the whole blindfolded and abducted thing. After all there were signs, which I ignored in my sunny and light hearted high. For example, I assumed that the cashier at the gas station were just stuttering because she found me attractive, not because I asked her for the directions to whatever I wasn't supposed to poke my nose into. Because obviously I shouldn't have come here. Now I knew why vanity is a deadly sin, extremely deadly.

I had pulled up in the familiar backyard beside the motorcycle. After doing some exploring, I was about to chicken out of going up to the back entrance and knocking on the door. I sat on the hood of the car, smoking and convincing myself that running away now wouldn't make me a coward. I weren't convinced, but none the less I pulled down the goggles over my eyes to drive away into the sunset. In an instant the orange tinted world turned pitch black, and I could feel my hands being tied behind my back.

Now I felt my legs being harshly pulled at and how I slid across the solid ground.

"'ey, boss!", someone barked, "I got 'im, just like you said."

The bag was roughly pulled off my head and I found myself in the middle of a dimly lit room, with about twenty pairs of eyes set on me. Two icy blue ones caught my attention, belonging to a lean blonde sitting in the middle of a couch, dressed in a black unbuttoned shirt, one leather clad leg pulled up to his bare chest and a familiar rosary hanging around his neck.

"You know you look like an idiot in those goggles", he said coolly.

I smirked back.

"Shut up, you're just jealous", I said and managed to sit up on the floor, "isn't that right, Mello?"

* * *

**MELLO IS BACK FOLKS! More blonde-awesomeness in the next chapter.**

**Sorry for the lack of... hot and mind-blowingly kinky sex... It'll get better.**


End file.
